Most of the time when families gather, the focus is purely social—reconnecting, reminiscing, and “rest and relaxation” as a group. Occasionally, family members may also gather for limited financial management tasks, such as settling a loved one’s estate, or planning for how to manage shared assets such as land or a family vacation home. These family get-togethers are important to families no matter what their financial circumstances. For families with wealth, though, the need to connect can go beyond the social aspects.
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Wealth coaching is essentially the study of one’s relationship with money and wealth. We all have a relationship with money, and through money messages that we learned at an early age, this relationship guides the majority of behaviors throughout our lives. Individuals and families who engage wealth coaches can benefit enormously across a broad spectrum of topics and issues as they participate in difficult conversations, learn about family systems, and devise governance strategies.
Families that have accumulated significant assets want to know how to best prepare the rising generation to help them maximize the benefits available to them, while also minimizing the unique challenges that occur when navigating the world of wealth. To engage family members of all ages, with disparate beliefs and approaches to money, the best place to start is with what matters most: values.
Thomas Calandra, who is in his mid-twenties, is the owner of Calandra Enterprises. At least that’s how he introduces himself to customers and clients of the bakeries, hotels, and restaurants he runs with his sister, father, uncle, and grandfather. Thomas credits his family business’s success to his grandfather’s hard work, determination, and artistry. He and his sister vow not to be like other family-owned businesses that rise in the hands of the elders and crumble in the hands of the grandchildren.
Most family businesses take on the characteristics of their founder or founding family, especially in their formative years. This changes as the company grows and the founder begins to transition ownership and control to future generations. To guide the business succession transition forward on a successful path, there needs to be a family governance plan to establish a framework for joint decision-making among family members based on shared values, a common mission or purpose, and a collective vision for the family’s future.
Many wealth management clients often encounter the same issue—they want to know how to prevent their children from becoming entitled. From consulting with therapists, a parenting coach, and an early education specialist, there are five consistently identified principles to help parents raise more self-reliant children and sidestep the entitlement trap. The encouraging takeaway is it’s never too late to start this work with your children.
For insights on integrated wealth planning, this issue of The Advisor presents a view from the top with Joe Kahn, The New York Times Managing Editor, the impact of globalization 2.0, and the U.S. presidential election 2016 and the candidates’ tax platforms. Also in this issue are the best practices in providing age-appropriate transparency when it comes to discussing a family’s wealth plan. Following it is the takeaway on the advantage of Delaware’s laws on directed trusts.
The expression “an elephant in the room” is readily recognized to mean an uncomfortable situation not talked about but clearly known to all. When elephants make unwanted appearances—at family dinners, social gatherings, meetings—people get uncomfortable and begin to shut down. When this happens, they begin to operate from assumptions and draw conclusions based on their own perceptions. Overtime, these actions may cause family relationships to erode.
While wealthy families prefer to pass nearly two-thirds of their wealth to their children, grandchildren and other heirs, they grapple with a fundamental question: Can their wealth benefit their generation and be passed on to future generations while also having a positive impact on those future generations? Experience shows that sustaining family wealth is indeed possible when families begin to see their wealth not only as a series of activities that need to be performed, but also as an enterprise that needs to be managed.
Because of social and cultural changes that have increased women’s control of wealth, this paper seeks to help families navigate this newer development—where the female partner’s inherited wealth significantly exceeds that which her spouse is likely to generate through his own inheritance or work. It begins with McKayla’s story and the challenges she and her boyfriend faced in their fiscally unequal partnership.