The Beloved Prenuptial Agreement

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The Beloved Prenuptial Agreement

Date:
Sep 9, 2014
 
Couples entering into matrimony often have to make difficult decisions associated with emotionally-charged issues such as a prenuptial (or “prenup”) agreement. If one is going to be implemented, knowing when and how to communicate the request to sign a prenup aids in its effectiveness. Approach the topic from the perspective of asset management and inheritance provisions rather than the perspective of trust. Trust should not be the driver for a prenup; if you didn’t trust one another, you wouldn’t be getting married. Instead, a prenup provides comfort or peace of mind in the event of a death or divorce. Prenups are a way to maintain, preserve and control the original vision and purpose of the assets for current and future generations. Communicating these expectations should be part of the process before two people become legally and financially joined. 
 
FOUR KEYS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PRENUP
  1. Purpose: Be clear about the purpose your prenup will be serving. Prenups cover two primary areas: property and support in case of death or divorce.
  2. Timing: A prenup is best discussed, delivered and executed months before the wedding date.
  3. Approach: Position the prenup as a discussion of what will happen upon death of a spouse, rather than a divorce.
  4. Communication: Talk with your prospective spouse. People need comfort in knowing that they will be taken care of financially and emotionally. 
 
TOP PRENUPTIAL FATAL FLAWS
  1. Surprising your future spouse with the paperwork to sign, with no prior conversations, especially close to the wedding
  2. Making it coercive: all or nothing
  3. Asking your future spouse to sign one and refusing to sign one yourself
  4. Doing one because of a lack of confidence in the relationship
  5. Having your parents be the messenger, even if they are the drivers of it
  6. Assuming you don’t need one and that a trust will protect all ownership issues
  7. Lack of legal representation on both sides 
  8. Under-disclosing your assets, income and/or resources
  9. Avoiding any and all conversations about finances, money, resources and assets